Resilience on the fly

It has taken me a little while to decide to share this particular story about resilience. It’s very personal, yet a friend encouraged me to share it as it might encourage others to discover their innate resilience during challenging times. The ‘Seismic Resilience Series’ will resume next week with Part 2, “Author, Director and Star”.

At the beginning of August, an oncologist confirmed that my mother has advanced cancer in five different organs. She showed accelerated deterioration throughout August and into September when she started chemotherapy. Only a month and a half ago, she was driving, walking the dog, cooking, and listening to operas and concertos online. What a music buff!

There has been no time to adapt emotionally and cognitively. We take things day by day now. In Part 1 (Frustrated Attachments), I wrote that “Building your resilience muscles takes time…”. This isn’t entirely true. You don’t always have the luxury of time. 

I’ve learned more about resilience in the past month than I have in the last several years. I want to share them with you. Take them as you will. Notice what comes up for you.

  • Resilience doesn’t necessarily feel like resilience at the time. It’s not always pulled together. It can be as simple as acknowledging how you feel right now and without judgement – anger, fear, forgetfulness, overwhelmed, apathy, numbness, hope;
  • Resilience doesn’t seek solutions or answers. It truly is okay not to know.
  • Resilience helps you to surpass preconceived limits, sometimes within minutes of what you thought was your most recently achieved limit and in completely unanticipated ways;
  • Resilience is magnified when shared;
  • Resilience is gratitude.

Above all, I am constantly reminded that resiliency is choosing to realize your natural capacity, potential, ability, and agility to withstand and navigate stress and crises when it’s least convenient to do so. I believe that is the key to building your resiliency “muscle”.