Silent majorities

On one side, there’s the silent majority that feels compelled to muffle and censor its pain, resistance, and vision. On the other is the silent majority whose encouragement, support, and love never see the light.

For both, there’s a sense of potential rejection. Sharing is stifled, vulnerability shunned.

There are things in this world that we consider as “silent killers”. Who would have thought that silence itself could be one of them?

You have a heart. You have a voice. Now what’s in your way?

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Resilience on the fly

It has taken me a little while to decide to share this particular story about resilience. It’s very personal, yet a friend encouraged me to share it as it might encourage others to discover their innate resilience during challenging times. The ‘Seismic Resilience Series’ will resume next week with Part 2, “Author, Director and Star”.

At the beginning of August, an oncologist confirmed that my mother has advanced cancer in five different organs. She showed accelerated deterioration throughout August and into September when she started chemotherapy. Only a month and a half ago, she was driving, walking the dog, cooking, and listening to operas and concertos online. What a music buff!

There has been no time to adapt emotionally and cognitively. We take things day by day now. In Part 1 (Frustrated Attachments), I wrote that “Building your resilience muscles takes time…”. This isn’t entirely true. You don’t always have the luxury of time.  Continue reading Resilience on the fly

Soul food

When the well is dry, it’s dry. Even with the best of intentions, you won’t get a single drop no matter how often you try. When the fridge has nothing tasty to offer, repeatedly closing and opening the door won’t cause treats to materialize, no matter how hungry you may be. I have personally tested the latter thinking that if I just shift my perspective, I might see something I didn’t notice before. No dice.

When you push yourself for extended periods, you risk drying up your well of internal resources. Shifting perspectives shows mindfulness and a maturity in self-management. It opens up possibilities and choices. Yet it’s not always a matter of working harder, thinking longer, focusing stronger.

Sometimes you simply need to get groceries. Maybe take a walk in the rain and get soaking wet.

You won’t get far when you are low on energy, connection or hope. The premium is too high a price to pay when you keep shunting yourself to the back of the line. Replenish that which nourishes you. Let the rains rejuvenate you. Take a step back. Take a breather. There’s only one you and we need you.

Where will you bring replenishment and nourishment into your life today?

Ten again

Doodle_When I grow upRecently, I discovered (ahem… RE-discovered) a favourite pursuit that I’ve downplayed for way too long: doodling. Far from mindless scribbles of distraction, doodling is actually a memory-enhancer and effective tactic to pay attention.

Once upon a time, a long time ago in a distant place, I used to tell stories through drawing, cartooning, and painting. That door slowly closed over the years. I had let it.

I fully believe that who we were as children – what we created, imagined, played, questioned, and believed – are expressed in different ways when we’re adults.

The image above is one of the results from a doodling weekend: a re-expression of an earlier blog post “When I grow up…” which recounts my top four childhood dreams.

It’s funny how “growing up” can end up looking very different from what we envisioned as children. And, still, I believe we can touch base with the sandbox, playground, grassy field, climbing tree, lakeside swing rope, trail, reading nook, road hockey, barefoot runs, Lego, Play-Do, bike ramps, toy trucks, Hide-and-Seek, Kick-the-Can, campfire story, Truth-or-Dare world of our childhood.

Although still rusty, my doodling is the visual equivalent of running – it has the power to shift my perspective.

So I’ll ask again…
What were your childhood dreams? How are they manifested today?

The cost of choice

On any given day, we hear different signals that cue us to take specific actions. Phone, alarm clock, doorbell, oven timer, car horn, baby crying, dripping faucet. The consequences of ignoring these signals can range from annoying to dire.

Yet there may be signals that have been trying to get your attention for a very long time. These signals may indicate a growing awareness of outdated response patterns, a crack in a belief system that no longer works, or a hunger for a bigger life. You sense it in your gut, in your heart.

If you sense the signals and choose to ignore them, it will cost you. The premium – whether it’s in the form of confidence, fulfillment, ethics or trust – is too high.

At what point does it become too costly to ignore the signals?