Part 1: Frustrated Attachments

Seismic Resilience Series (Part 1 of 5)

Welcome to the first of five parts in the Seismic Resilience Series.

Resilience has been on my radar for a long time. In essence, resilience is the capacity to withstand and navigate stress and crises. What’s intrinsically powerful about this is the meaning of capacity. It does not mean having a ready solution or freedom from feeling the impact of negative experiences. Capacity means having the potential, ability, and agility – regardless of situation, unexpected events, or transitions.

You have an innate capacity for resilience stemming from your personal experiences. It takes curiosity, creativity, and resourcefulness to be resilient. Because I also fully believe that you have an innate capacity for curiosity, creativity, and resourcefulness, it is within your reach to unlock and access your unique resilience.

In keeping with my working philosophy to instigate “seismic nudges”, the Seismic Resilience Series simply point to five high-potential portals to greater resiliency.  Continue reading Part 1: Frustrated Attachments

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Filling the gap

Recently, I was asked why some Seismic eShift postings seem to leave readers dangling.

“Dangling”, as in there should be some sort of closure. An answer. A definitive direction to take. Otherwise, the loop is left open with a gap of uncertainty because the outcome could be anything.

Uncertainty can be disconcerting. Discomfort is, by definition, uncomfortable. You can bet I get curious about that uncertainty and discomfort. What was it that made you see or feel something you didn’t want to see or feel?

I specialize in ‘seismic nudges’. The gap is all yours to bridge as you live your life from moment to moment. Your choices. Your amazing story. Now if THAT makes you uncomfortable – the idea that you’re the true author of your own story – then I’m more than willing to risk your discomfort.

What are you willing to risk in service of your Seismic Life?

I never wanted to be a co-active coach

I never wanted to be a coach. Never in the 20-plus years of my career history from animal physiologist to communications specialist did personal or business coaching ever show up on my radar. It may as well have been the stardust sprinkled on a rock located on a moon orbiting a distant planet in another galaxy – that’s how far coaching was off my radar. Yet at a critical juncture when my communications consulting business was poised to grow, my life and that proverbial stardust were destined to cross paths.

For over two decades, I had let logic determine my career trajectory. Intuition took a back seat and I had tread my way through the years to a crossroads where the next step eluded me. Here, logic was painfully inadequate. I wanted a business coach. In my search, I found The Coaches Training Institute (CTI). The more I read about their work, the more I felt like I was coming home to what I was born to do. THUNK! It all finally clicked.

So against all logic, and to the surprise of family and friends, I unleashed my natural intuition and took a step of faith. I’ll never look back. Imagine doing a cannonball jump off the end of a dock expecting a cold splash only to find the water warm, welcoming, dynamic and playful. That’s what Fundamentals training is. Heck, that’s what the on-going co-active® journey is!

The first of five courses in CTI’s core curriculum, Fundamentals training is the launch pad to coach development. It offers an experiential smorgasbord of co-active® “tools” through practice coaching with fellow students.

As an introvert, my biggest challenge in Fundamentals training was overcoming the perception that a coach always knows what to say. Being in the role of “coach” with a practice partner made my heart race each time. The funny thing is that my biggest challenge led to a whopper of an eye-opener: it’s often when coaches pause and say nothing that dramatic insights from the “coachee” come to light. It was from my silence, when I was stuck, tongue-tied and stewing to find something, anything, to say, that my “clients” struck gold with their own insights and creativity. Silence gave them the space to tap into their own resourcefulness. Over time, I learned to trust my curiosity and intuition, and to let go of coaching expectations.

Fundamentals was nothing what I expected, yet it was everything I needed to bridge the personal and professional me in a way that aligns with every single value I uphold. How many professions can make that claim?

CTI coaches often refer to integrating co-activity into their life purpose as “drinking the (co-active®) Kool-aid”. If that’s true – and it is – then Fundamentals training is like the first sip of clear fresh cold water after a drought. It perks you up and leaves you wanting more.

Where do you want to go from here?

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This is a guest post for The Coaches Training Institute.

Seismic nudges

Kerplunk

When I was a kid, one of my favourite games was KERPLUNKTM. The premise of the game is easy: place a bunch of marbles atop a criss-crossed jumble of sticks, pull out a stick one at a time and avoid letting the marbles fall through. Inevitably, the marbles shift, a few drop, and when enough sticks have been removed, the rest of the marbles fall. Kerplunk!

I often refer to cumulative ‘seismic nudges’ leading to seismic shifts in our lives. KERPLUNKTM illustrates seismic nudges perfectly. You may pull out a stick with no obvious immediate effect, but you’ve set the stage for other possibilities when another stick is removed. That’s the point – you have to keep removing sticks to play.

Such is the nature of ‘seismic nudges’ in life – you take a small risk in the name of what’s truly important to your very soul and set the stage for fantabulous possibilities, whether or not you feel it happening. You just have to keep playing and remove whatever is blocking your progress.

So don’t think of it as “dropping the balls” or “losing your marbles”. It’s about letting go and maybe even having some fun with it, especially if you used mini gumballs instead.

Brains are tricky things

Brains are tricky things. I don’t know much about how brains work, but I do know that mine plays mind games. When I’m about to breach the limits of my comfort zone, my brain tells me all sorts of things: notgoodenoughdontriskitstaysafe.

Whoa! Those are pretty powerful messages. And they’re all big lies. Where are they coming from? More importantly, why do we listen to them? The brain’s specialties are to ‘logic’ things out to kingdom come and to imagine the worst case scenarios. Then we stop stretching.

But wait, what does your heart have to say? What’s at the very core of your beliefs and values? At any given moment when you dare to acknowledge what matters most to you, what makes your heart sing? Give it wings. Robin Sharma is right: “The more time you spend in your discomfort zone, the more your comfort zone will expand.”

With every step forward and every success realized (however small), your brain learns a new language.

Imagine the powerful things your brain will say with your heart as ally: thisisamazingyourockthisisamazingyourock!

Now that’s something all of us should listen to everyday.

What one thing will you do today to stretch your comfort zone?